Thursday, June 7, 2012

Enough

I started this blog after a disastrous visit to the library. There have been plenty of those since, but gradually we've got better at it. It's not perfect, but it's improving.
In my mind, I promised that I would keep the blog for six months, then see how I felt. I can report that I feel pretty much as I did when I arrived - it's all so new! so exciting! so much to do! we've hardly started!
but a lot more confident about how the system works and what we can expect in the next few months/years.
There are good days and bad days and absolutely terrifying days, like the day this week when my middle son climbed out of his car seat into the middle of the car and started pummelling his little brother and me...whilst I was driving. There are good moments too, like the bike-riding that my eldest has re-mastered with the help of a local OT, having lost his confidence on two wheels when the bike disappeared into a ship with our luggage for three months.
Most of the time I feel like I am trying to learn to ride a bike too, wobbly and in constant danger of falling over. I still get grumpy with idiotic strangers and unhelpful professionals, like any SN mother. I worry about failing my boys and know that there are dozens of therapies etc out there that would help them that I'm not ready/energetic/loaded enough to try. I am nervous about my middle son's entry into school and worry about whether we will ever get him out of nappies. My eldest is being teased at school, mercifully he is currently oblivious to the fact that it is a problem but he will wake up to it eventually and then we will have to do something about it. My youngest shows all the signs of being intelligent and challenging.
So I could go on writing, but something in me says that I've done enough: enough in the same, imperfect way that I do enough I think for my family: it's not everything it could be, it's not comprehensive or all-encompassing, but it's the best I can manage, and it's good enough for now. Other people might manage more, but this is my best. It's been huge fun to write, and I want to get off the stage whilst I am still enjoying it. Something about not wanting to repeat myself. Besides, I have a thesis that has to be completed by November. Wish me luck. And thank you for reading.

6 comments:

  1. Rats. I'll miss you. Wishing you and yours a satisfying continuing climb up the mountain you've started up; with plenty of pauses to enjoy the view on the way.
    Also wishing you a steady drip feed of Proper Tea.

    Good luck with the thesis and maybe you could give us a little update at the end of the year?- we'll be thinking of you

    Thanks also for your support and encouragement at the beginning of my own blogging adventures,

    Pollyxx

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  2. I am sorry to hear that you are stopping writing your blog. You will be missed. Hope to still "see" you on Mumsnet!

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  3. I'll miss your updates about life over there, but then again, I feel sure you will come back when you are ready. Good luck.

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  4. Its been brilliant. Thanks. Shells.

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  5. Thanks for the blog - it's a shame you're stopping but I totally understand why :) Maybe you can update us as the end of the year...or whenever you are ready! Good luck and all the best with your three gorgeous boys :) xx

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